No glory holes in this book. 

Alice Clayton wrote one of the best-worst chic lit books that I've read in a long time.

And by worst I mean there is stuff in there that made me blush in a way that I hadn't since the 50 Shades series.

I feel like this book is The Bachelor meets San Francisco meets delusion. I don't know. I've lived in an apartment complex for a while now, and I haven't heard any wall banging (unless someone is literally drilling a hole to hang up a picture) and I haven't seen any hotties roaming the halls.

Maybe I should move.

Back to the book. There's the main character, Caroline, who moves into this amazing apartment courtesy of her boss. She's in the midst of getting unpacked and settled and ready for bed on her first night there, when she finds herself in an impromptu late night fight with her neighbour, who is a little busy and therefore blissfully unaware that an altercation is taking place at all. Of course there's moaning. Of course there's a wall involved. And banging. Hence the name of the book.

She realizes that the culprit is a hottie mctottie who is wall-banging not one, but three different women folk, all of different shapes and sizes (well done, Alice).

Of course they meet and of course they have a Harry Met Sally Met Ross and Rachel type of introduction. They are oh so witty and oh so hot for eachother. So, naturally, they remain friends, but there's lots of slipping of the Freud. Through this friendship courting, they learn a lot about each other and realize there are things that they like (i.e. she bakes him bread and he protects her after a night of watching scary movies). They end up falling in love and decide to try and make the jump from neighbour to friends to more than friends. He decides he doesn't want to have sister wives anymore (okay, he never did) and she decides that she can tame this bad boy. And of course, as is the case in real life (insert eye roll here), she totally changes his need to be with multiple women.

Despite all the cliches ... in all honesty, I was jealous of this made up story with this made up friendship turned hot and heavy romance. I was 50 Shades of green with envy. If you have a weekend to spare, read the book. It's quite cute and the banter in it is actually very easy to read and very witty.

And, Caroline's cat is named Clive, for God's sake. Also, did you check out that cover? Not that one should EVER judge a book by it's cover, but, um ... damn.

Marley and Me

When I was just a little girl, I thought I was more of a cat person than a dog person. I’d spend hours while pretending to do my chores, mainly focused on playing with the kitties and searching out new ones in the barn. They’d get so tame, that if you went pick up a bale, they’d scurry on to it to get your attention; or you decided to sit down for a rest, they’d climb right up on to you. I was personally hurt when my brother took to torturing the poor things, swinging them around by their tails and whatnot.

When my sister scoured the want ads and listened to “Swap Shop” on the radio religiously to find a suitable dog for the farm, I wasn’t too interested. When “Katy” arrived on the scene, I was annoyed that I couldn’t run barefoot on the lawn, or lay outside without the slobbering Collie all over me. She was a dumb dog. She stood in the middle of the road and barked at traffic. She climbed up the stairs on to the school bus. She got hit by tractors, the slowest moving vehicles on the planet. I was not her biggest fan.

When a lovable Golden Retriever/Labrador cross took her place; however, I changed my tune. Nelly was (and still is, as far as I know) a beautiful dog. A hot blonde. Gentle, more intelligent, so adorable that everyone in the family began giving her treats for the hell of it. If I decided to lay in the grass, she’d sit beside me with her tail thump-thump-thumping away.

It’s because of Nelly that Marley and Me by John Grogan was such a wonderful reading experience. It was easy to relate to the demeanor of Labs, the way the Grogans fell in love with the little pup, the unconditional love when Marley devoured the house and failed out of dog training. While our experiences with our beloved family pets were quite different, I couldn’t help but love this tale.

Before I start to gush too much, I feel the need to inform everyone that I haven’t seen the movie. A co-worker loaned me the book with her own story about how tears sprung to her eyes at opportune moments, warning me that if I was a crier (which I totally am) I was doomed. I don’t know if it was the fact that I carried this book around everywhere with me on the off chance that I’d get to read a couple pages here and there that prevented me from tearing up at the end of the story or not, but I didn’t cry. However, the fact that I wasn’t moved to tears didn’t ruin my impression of the novel.

Marley and Me is a relatable story about the impact a family pet can have on your life. Certainly, for anyone who had a dog growing up, or has one now, it’s easily to nod your head as you read about the trials and tribulations the Grogans face with Marley. Though we all come from different backgrounds, different family situations, and experiences, Marley and Me is the type of story that brings people together. This is probably why when John Grogan wrote the obituary for his pet in the paper he worked at, he received more calls, e-mails and letters than he had for any other piece of his career.

I spoiled it, but c’mon, you had to know that was coming.

Do yourself a favour, pick up Marley and Me and remember your own favourite childhood pet as the story unfolds.

I Just Want My Pants Back

Meet Jason Strider. He lost a pair of his favourite pants to a girl he "made love" to in a refrigerator (she wore them home and never returned them). Now normally losing a pair of pants shouldn't be THAT big a deal, but it is to Jason because those pants are one of three that he owns. He lives in New York and works as an assistant (pay is horrible) and also drinks like a fish and smokes doobies like it's going out of style. Oh, and he needs to eat too. So he doesn't exactly have a lot of money to throw on a pair of pants. (Even though he probably should.)

His is the perfect case which proves that getting an education at an Ivy League college doesn't necessarily mean that you will make the most out of it. His English degree is not one that he uses to help him rake in the dough. The only time he exhibits his use for it is when he text messages his friends or sends them emails. Which happens very often throughout the day since his assistant job doesn't really leave him with much to do where actual work is concerned.

His days are spent running late for work, drinking a lot of alcohol, hanging out with his friends, trying to get laid, smoking up, and going to bed super late despite the fact that he needs to wake up early to start the cycle all over again.

The only bright side there is to his living situation (although, it could be worse ... he could not only look the part of homeless dude, -- which he totally does -- but also play the part as well) is that he befriends his neighbour, Patty. She is much, much older than him but has lived the same lifestyle as he is living now (pot, drinking, frequenting bars until dawn, dead end job) so she is a "cool" older neighbour. You definitely wouldn't mistake her for being somebody's grandma.

This debut novel was written by David J. Rosen. I don't read a lot of books written by dudes, but this is exactly what I would've expected. It was laced with cringe-worthy humour ... you know, the type that you chuckle at but then mentally berate yourself for having laughed in the first place because it was "below the belt?" That kind of humour ... very boy's locker room. I mean ... he writes about sex with a girl in his refrigerator and has his character think in the middle of it, "What a fantastic e-mail this is going to make tomorrow." So something a guy would say. And do.

He eventually gets his pants back, but I felt that the book kind of progressed from him trying to find his pants, to him trying to find his life. I read this book last year (and actually wrote this review last year as well) so it's hard for me to elaborate any more without re-reading. I do remember enjoying it and getting through it quickly. If you're looking for a change of pace with what you're reading, pick this up.

How To Be Single

I just finished reading this book by Liz Tuccillo. She co-authored the book He's Just Not That Into You with Greg Behrendt which some women have dubbed The Dating Bible (and which is in production of becoming a movie, apparently). I have to say that I do own that book and after reading it, things started to make a lot more sense and I stopped taking crap from guys. But that's another post for another day.

How To Be Single. I had seen this book many months ago and picked it up but never bought it. Even though it seemed like a good read and not your typical chic-lit book (sassy is not chic-lit), I just didn't want to read it because of the title. There, I said it. I don't want to know how to be single. I've been single for a long time. I know how to be single and it sucks (sometimes). I'll admit, the not having to check in on anyone and having the freedom to do what I want, when I want without the need to think of my boyfriend first, is kind of liberating. But the flip-side is that I don't have a guy that I can kiss when I feel like it. There is always a down side to that bright side.

But I digress.

I didn't get this book at first because I didn't want to read a book that would give me advice on how to do this (be single) accordingly. But when I finally picked it up, I had a hard time putting it down. Before I get into the story, I need to say that Liz Tuccillo is a fantastic writer. It makes complete sense that she was an executive story editor for HBO's Sex and the City. The book felt like it could have been a complete season of Sex and the City. It was witty and funny and clever and heart-wrenching and joyous all at the same time. As soon as I turned over the last page, my immediate thought was that I would read that book again sometime soon. And I don't do that. Especially with the looming pile of books that seems to never end.

Again, I digress.

Tuccillo had some interesting research to be done for this book and she was able to travel around the world to get the information that she needed ... mainly, how women coped with being single in different countries in the world.

The narrator of the book, Julie, embarks on a similar journey while she leaves her four friends in New York to deal with how to be single in their own lives. Before Julie takes this trip, she and her friends go out to try and get Georgia's mind off the fact that her husband had left her for a younger Brazilian tango dancer. She pulls in reinforcements (her other 3 friends) to help Georgia have fun. This night is something of an epiphany to Julie. Here she is, sitting with her beautiful and successful late 30-something friends, and they are all alone. And she doesn't know why. The night ends with a trip to the hospital and it's there that she meets two Parisian women who give her some insight as to how women from other parts of the world deal with their relationships (or lack thereof) in much different ways. This is where her idea of traveling to interview single women is born. Throughout her travels, she comes to some insights of her own as her friends do the same back home. Her four friends were only acquaintances with eachother, their tie being Julie, but by the end of the book they are friends who have been there for each other and not only for a good time.

This story celebrates friendship and heartache -- heartache that is necessary to see what you have when you have it (and what you deserve and shouldn't settle for) and friendship to see you through it. It teaches us that no matter what life throws at us, or no matter how despondent our situation may seem, there is always love to be had, you are not alone, and miracles do happen.

Something Borrowed

Before I start my review, I just wanted to welcome our brand-spanking new reviewers, Amber, Lauren, and Elisabeth. Thanks for taking an interest ladies! Your reviews have been awesome!

Okay ... about the book.

This book was written by Emily Giffin and I believe this is her first novel. I read this book a couple of years ago and I found it was something I could relate to, not because I was sleeping with my best friend's fiancé (like that would ever happen), but because of the age-group of the ladies this book focused on. These women are turning thirty, in the prime of their lives, have great careers and great friends and are living life the way it is meant to be lived: to the fullest.

Of course with every friendship you have the under dog (Rachel) and the alpha dog (Darcy). Darcy is the "look at me!" girl while Rachel is the girl who stands in Darcy's shadow. She is the type of girl who will bite her tongue when it comes to Darcy's antics, because, well that's what best friends do, right?

Darcy is pretty dependent on Rachel. Rachel is ambitious. She's a NYC lawyer and Darcy isn't anything really. Darcy followed Rachel to NY and, considering she didn't really have any work background, managed to snag a glamorous job which paid amazing dollars. But then again, Darcy is the kind of girl that doesn't really have to work to get what she wants. Yes ... she's THAT pretty.

Long story short, Rachel hooks up Darcy with this guy she went to law school with named Dex. At first Dex didn't really show an interest in Darcy (much to her shock) because he kinda sorta liked Rachel. Since Rachel wasn't really confident, she dismissed his feelings because he couldn't possibly want someone like her. Dex and Darcy began to date and wound up getting engaged, with Rachel appointed to maid-of-honour status. On the night of Darcy's surprise 30th birthday party, Darcy goes home pissed drunk and Dex and Rachel end up sleeping together.

This is where it gets interesting. They vow to keep that as a one night thing but the problem is that they can't stop thinking about each other and it continues on to be something ... more. And it's a weird dynamic because Darcy is important to the both of them. This affair comes to a head when Rachel can't stand the lies and being the other woman when she feels she should be THE woman. She tells Dex that he either needs to call off the wedding or they can't continue what they're doing (duh). Strangely enough? I was totally rooting for Dexter and Rachel. Even though they were having an affair. Trust me if you read this book, you would be too.

I loved this book. It was so well written and not hard to read at all. I loved how Emily wrote the story ... her style was awesome. Read this book. It's such a fun read (and it has a sequel!) and it took me about a day to finish it. And I re-read this book. That's how much I liked it (but truth be told, I only re-read the steamy parts).

Alice, I think

I admit- I judge books sometimes on their cover. I also judge them by the reviews plastered on the front page. When I picked this book up Meg Cabot's (of "Size 12 is not fat" fame) name jumped out from the cover along with her quote "I laughed until diet soda came out of my nose". I threw it in my cart and hoped for the best.

At just under 300 pages, Susan Juby has managed to cram at least one laugh on every page. Alice, I think is the story of a teen aged girl named Alice who is painfully awkward but keenly observant on society. On her first day of grade 1 her hippie parents let her go to school dressed as a hobbit, and she never recovered. She grows up home schooled and unpopular, but with a comforting confidence in herself that makes you wonder what she will do next. Along with trying to discover her personal style, she works on completing her 'life goals list' (#2 Increase contact with people outside immediate family. Not friends necessarily, but least superficial interaction of 'hi, how are you variety'...).

The majority of the book centers around Alice when she's 16 years old. Through her story you witness her mother get in a hilarious fist-fight with Alice's (grown up now) enemy from grade 1, a fish show, some serious fashion disasters and a stunning comparison to an ex-boyfriend I dated. (Hint- Aubrey).

I almost didn't want to write a review for this book because I knew I wouldn't be able to capture just how funny it is. I understand now why it's a national best-seller, with every age group enjoying it. It's short and lighthearted but with a main character who you care about. I think the only way to illustrate the book is with this: Alice's mother, has a best friend named Geradline. Alice doesn't like her but says "the only cool thing about Geraldine is that she looks like James Woods.".

How can you not love a book that says that?